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A Washington DC
airport ticket agent offers some examples of why the US is in so
much trouble:
1.I had a New Hampshire
Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an
airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore)
staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town . I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to
make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts .''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,
''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa
..''
His response -- click..
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders)
called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida
is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call
from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible
to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG,
again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet
Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in
Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a
1-hour layover in Dallas ... When I asked him why he wanted to
rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will need a car to drive between gates to save time.''
(Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky)
called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her
flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33
a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she
couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told
her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called
and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your
bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No,
why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put
a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think
that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it.
(I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code
for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline
was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross)
called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over
all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman
Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ''How do I know
which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have
numbers on them.''
10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I
need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of
those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter
plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a
question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China
. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that
she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many
times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When
I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times
and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called
to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New
York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's
the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've
looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a
rhino anywhere.
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it
is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like
manure, you just gotta spread it around.
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